A misleading way to pay homage to Confucius

Once repudiated during the "cultural revolution" (1966-76), Confucius (551-479 BC) and his teachings are back in vogue in China today.

Various events were held last month to celebrate the 2,555th anniversary of Confucius' birth at his hometown of Qufu in East China's Shandong Province and around the country.

Among these activities, however, some do seem too farfetched to be connected with Confucius.

In a celebration organized by the China Confucius Society in Beijing, 180 married couples take an oath before a portrait of Confucius, pledging fidelity to each other and swearing never to divorce.

But what is the deal with Confucius if these husbands and wives want to take such an oath and stay happily married?

Confucian philosophy emphasizes individual and institutional morality.

Maybe the modern way of managing a marriage can be connected with some of Confucius' principles, such as familial loyalty and respect of elders by their children and of husbands by their wives, or some of the Confucian theory of ethics, such as human kindness. But these noble ideas are actually honourable in all aspects of life.

There is no inexorable relationship between them and sustaining a marriage.

Well, yes, being tolerant is vital in marriage. But tolerance does not work without principle or limit. Divorce is a choice when things go beyond endurance.

Respecting marriage means to respect its sacred essentials, but not its form only. In most cases, accepting a divorce and respecting each other's choices is the best that can be done to a failed marriage.

The 180 oath-taking couples may well be beloved husbands and wives. But such acts of formality do not carry much of real significance. Nor should others follow suit, as some scholars have advocated.

When they register to get married, every couple has already promised each other a commitment of love and fidelity. Counting on Confucius will not work if the basic essentials are not there.

Confucius himself was not a role model in sustaining a life-long marriage. He divorced his wife at 23, after four years of marriage - though people tended to deify Confucius and omit this, and still had her memorial tablet presented in the family's ancestral temple. In his time, husbands could divorce their wives and send them home for various reasons, while their wives did not have such rights.

Wives' unconditional obedience, which was at the core of marital relations in Confucius' teachings, might guarantee long-lasting marriages. But is that a formula for happiness? Is it, in fact, what we want?

Confucius' teachings are rich in spiritual nutrition conducive to a harmonious social atmosphere.

Ours may be a better place to be should all of us learn from his instructions and behave ourselves.

But it really is too much to promise him lifelong loyalty in marriage.